Blood Ties by S. F. Rae

Author:S. F. Rae [S. F. Rae]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: S. F. Rae
Published: 2023-06-12T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty

Letting Kaleb go off by himself doesn’t sit right with me. I can’t put my finger on it but I feel like he’s just as much a part of this as the rest of us. His reluctance to join us—this weird dysfunctional family, bonded by pain and revenge—well, I can understand his hesitation. Who knows what the future holds, why open yourself to a pain so deep it rips the air from your lungs. Losing my family, Ma, my sisters, it cut deep. Every morning when I wake up I miss them terribly. For someone who has been alone as long as he has, this weirdness would feel alien. Kaiden didn’t exactly give him a warm welcome either, so I can hardly blame him for his confusion.

Still . . .

I look back towards where Kaleb had disappeared, I have to hope he’s going to keep his word. I don’t know why, but the thought of him disappearing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe Creed’s right. Maybe I do have a complex and need to save everyone.

“Wildcat?” Kaiden’s voice makes me smile, it feels like it’s been way too long since I’ve heard my nickname on his lips. “I should thank you.”

“What for?” I ask, I mean Creed and Kaleb did the work, I just . . .

For a moment I remember the feel of the gun going off in my hand, and the way such a powerful opponent crumpled. I wait for the realisation to hit me, my first kill. I actually took a life. Someone is dead because of me. But no matter how I try, no matter how I think about it, the sense of guilt, the self loathing, the horror at what I did, it never arrives.

And it horrifies me more than anything else.

Am I a monster?

Am I losing myself?

For a moment I picture Ma’s face, what she would say. She’d be horrified, disgusted maybe. But then again, who the fuck really knows. It’s not like she was ever honest with me in the first place. She had this whole entire secret life she never told me about, who knows what actually lay under all those masks she wore. Did I ever know her?

“You killed a man to protect me, to protect us.” He pulls me into a hug and I feel my anger melt away as his arms hold me. Surrounded by Kaiden’s strength I feel more in control of my emotions than I have done in what feels like forever. It’s only been a few days since he handed me that box and told me he’d be right back, yet so much has happened.

Did he still mean the words he’d said to me? When he called me his?

Did I still want him to?

I look past him to Creed. When I thought I’d lost him . . . And then there’s the whole Kaleb issue, which I’m not even going to start unboxing.

I breathe deep, pushing the thoughts away. I focus on the

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